What my heartbeat means.

What a weekend. It feels like, overall, these last couple days flew by in a heartbeat – yet, there were a few moments where it felt like time stopped. Those moments when you feel like you’re almost able to step back out of the present and appreciate all that’s past, while realizing that there’s so many possibilities to come.

I’m starting to see and more fully appreciate how God is working in my life, how absolutely everything over the past few years – actually, my lifetime – have led up to this moment.  If you’ve ever played sports or an instrument – preparing for a big game or show – you understand the feeling: that sentiment as you step out onto the field, the crowd roars, and you realize that all of your preparation will pay off in that single moment.

 

Except, today, it’s a little different. I don’t mean “this moment” figuratively or in a monumental sense, per se. I mean right here, right now – sitting here in bed, holding steaming tea with one hand and typing this with the other. I’m realizing how every nuance of my life has been orchestrated. Tomorrow, I’ll take a breath and my heart will beat. The interaction of these two steps will cause a reaction in my muscles, which will in turn enable me to propel myself out of bed, extend my fingers to grab my steaming mug of coffee, receive the jolt of caffeine needed to start my day…and the cycle continues. But you know the humbling thing: I don’t have control over whether or not my heart will take its next beat, or my body will breathe its next breath.

 

I don’t say that to be morbid, but to make the point that there is One who loves me so desperately that He’s already measured my life in the number of heartbeats I’ll have or breaths I’ll take. He makes my heart beat for me, He reminds my body to breathe in the fresh air. This means He’s already with me, working within and around me, moment to moment. He’s already accounted for all the decisions I’ll make of my own accord, and of the times I’ll let Him lead. In merely existing, my heart is innately intertwined in a divine, sacred romance with the Creator of the Universe.

 

It’s beautiful. As I consider decisions, as I sit here now contemplating how what I’ll do today will affect what options I’ll have tomorrow – I know that He actually wants to free me from that worry. If He has orchestrated my very existence and keeps me alive from second to second, He can surely be trusted to lead me towards the most Epic life he has waiting.

 

 

“I lift my hands to Heaven, hear my heart surrender.

I tell my soul again, You are Lord of all.

Though the seas are raging, You will speak and tame them.

In You I find my rest, You are in control.”

~ In Control, Hillsong Worship

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