I was drinking coffee this morning.
…just like everybody else, you’re thinking to yourself. You’re right. Drinking coffee is a morning ritual religiously observed by millions of people around the globe. Drinking coffee isn’t at all unusual.
The fact that I’m drinking coffee—now that’s strange. Oh sure, I love using the phrase “get coffee” as a synonym for “spend time”. As in, “let’s go get coffee”. But then, when the moment of truth comes, I’ll walk up to the counter and the barista will say, “What can I get for you today?” And I, without fail, will say:
“I’d like a grande non-fat vanilla chai.”
It’s a running joke for those who know me well. They get a kick out of it, and I just stand there saying, “Ha, yes, that’s hilarious. Sure. Yep. So funny.”
…I digress. But I say all of this to illustrate how unusual it is for me to be drinking coffee this morning.
Friends, I’m tired. So tired that I felt the need for this unheard-of extra morning jolt. So tired that I dream of the day when I can get to sleep while the single digits are still on the clock. Just physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted.
Something I’ve noticed about myself: when I reach this point of exhaustion, it’s easy for my spiritual life to slip into the mode of “religion” as opposed to “relationship”.
And I’ve found that, for me, it’s impossible to love a religion. Sure, I can follow a religion, but it’s more out of duty than desire. God never intended for our connection with Him to be one of knowledge-based obligation – He created it to be a relationship of deep romance and love.
Just like a lover might whisper, “I love you, I desire to be with you, I long to spend time with you” – so I felt God saying this to my heart for the last week. So on Sunday, I sat down with my bearskin blanket and warm mug of tea. I opened my book* to these words: “What do you think of when you hear the word worship?”
Friends, what do you think of when you hear that word? Church, hymns, words of praise, prayers, psalms, guitars?
These are the outward forms of worship. How worship manifests itself.
I was intrigued by what I was reading, and continued on. The author asked, “What’s at the heart of worship?”
The answer? A secret. A wonderful, intimate, romantic secret.
There’s a word found in the New Testament scriptures, and appears only in the Greek translation. The word: proskuneo.
By definition, this word means “to kiss”. Therefore, true worship is to kiss.
What’s a kiss? It’s the most intimate of acts – one that we long for, that makes us tingle inside, that makes our heart soar. Something that makes the wrong, right and transforms any moment.
To worship God is to kiss God – the most intimate thing we can experience.
And, a true kiss is never done because of duty or obligation – it’s done because of an outpouring of the heart. It’s driven by joy, it brings joy. It’s an expression of love.
I took it in, letting it all wash over me. I was humbled by the idea that I had the privilege to have this connection with God – to worship Him, to “kiss” Him. Not only the privilege, but that He desired it from me – that time, that intimacy, that aligning of spirits. That He is the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of the World – and at the same time, the Lover of my soul. The one who crafted its in’s and out’s, deepest fears and longings, and that His word & work in my life is His love letter to me.
Even in my most tired, exhausted moments, I am living loved, passionately and unconditionally.
“Let Him lead me to the banquet hall, and let His banner over me be love.” ~Song of Songs 2:4
*From Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn