Staying strong in the struggle

“Walking around these walls, I thought by now they’d fall – but You have never failed me yet.”
I’ve heard it said that prayer is like chopping down a tree – one or two whacks won’t do it, it takes strength, commitment, and persistence. I’m sure that doesn’t come as a surprise to you 🙂

 

And, we’ve seen that – haven’t we? When we are in the midst of the struggle and pray without ceasing for a month, or two, or twelve – and it takes what feels like an eternity – BUT! The answer does come, and it is indeed miraculous. What happens, though, when one year turns into three? Or five? In the spirit of complete honesty, there’s one thing that I’ve been praying for – passionately and persistently – for the past seven years. And, if anything, it feels like more of an impossibility today than it did seven years ago.

 

My heart feels like it’s been on the losing side of a fistfight and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t found myself crying on the bathroom floor a few times over recent years. So what happens when God feels distant, and we start to doubt His promises to us? Well, first – is He being distant, or are we? Have we grown skeptical, and started to pull away? Have we become so fixated on this one request that we’re blind to the blessings that He’s poured out in other areas of our lives? Do we doubt His power because He hasn’t yet answered one request, while we forget the hundreds of miracles and past prayers that He’s answered? The times He made a way when there was NO WAY? Do we doubt His goodness because we don’t see “the goods”? Do we doubt His timing and develop a preference for our limited understanding? Yes, it hurts when it feels like the cries of our hearts are unmet, and it’s desperately lonely in that place. It HURTS. And oh, dear heart, yes the loneliness hurts too. God doesn’t discount that – not for a minute.

 

But, He does ask us to trust. To bask in the overwhelming evidence that He IS good, and is always on our side. So tonight I make the resolution that how I feel won’t dictate how I follow. Will you join me?

 

“Your promise still stands, great is Your faithfulness. I’m still in your hands. This is my confidence – you’ve never failed me yet.”

Advertisements

Skydiving? No, thanks!

Skydiving isn’t my thing. Why? Because I’m a fan of safety nets and assurances. I’m a master at crafting contingency plans. I like knowing that – whatever happens – if it goes right, I did well. If it goes wrong, but still turns out okay – then I still did well (#contingencyplans). & if it goes totally wrong – well, then there’s nothing that I could have done to stop it. That mindset has served me well in the business world. But what about in my personal life? I try to implement my contingencies there, too. It goes something like: Plan A) Pray & trust God. Plan B) Line up something in case God doesn’t come through. I prepare myself to settle. & the funny thing is – if I have a contingency plan, does that mean that I’m really trusting God at all? Absolutely not. And, as has happened in my life lately, when my contingency plans fall through, my distrust is laid bare – and that’s ugly. But we serve a God who already “knows the plans he has for us” (Jeremiah 29:11) and has known each big & small step in our lives from the very beginning (Psalm 139:16). So, I’m going to chose to discard my “safety net plans”, and trust only in His. It’s a process, and I won’t be perfect today, but I do resolve to do it. Will you join me?

Weekend Reflections

Anything but God’s Will is a waste of time ✨ Easy to say, harder to live – but, I’ve realized that this holds so so true for my life! It’s easy for me to lose patience with His plan, and start to distrust His timing when things don’t come how / when I like. Ultimately though, when I try to find my own fix, it takes me farther off of His “best” path, and I have to loop back around – wasting time vs. if I had stayed the course in the beginning. Because nothing BUT me can keep me from His best for me – His best plans, His best places, His best timing. He doesn’t need anybody’s help, He only needs my surrender. And, surrendering is the hardest thing of all – but, is the only way to His perfect plan for my life, which is better than anything I could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)