A life of small indulgences

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious–the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse…Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8-9

 

The origin of my “Small indulgences” philosophy

My Mint money management app – along with my financial planner – have always told me that ~30% of my monthly income should go towards rent.

 

HA. CLEARLY neither my app (which – of course – is not a person and therefore has never had to pay rent) nor my planner have ever tried to put this ratio to practice in New York. Starting out in the City, with bright eyes and a “big” salary…well, let’s just say that the minute you signed your first Upper West Side apartment lease, you realized that “big” may be a matter of perspective. For a while, that “30% ratio” became a joke worthy of SNL and you started realizing why everyone you met in the City had a side hustle.

 

Now, when you’re living on a budget, you start to develop certain “indulgences” since you can’t afford to eat out at Jean-Georges every night. For me, those indulgences came in three forms: wonderful candles, cozy socks, and cupcakes. After a hard day, I might even indulge in all three. I even had my favorite spots to grab each one – candles from Anthropologie, cupcakes from Magnolia, and happy socks from – you guessed it!  – Happy Socks down in SoHo.

 

While I frequently chose candles that smelled like floral fragrances or refreshing blends, I did have one guilty pleasure – Vanilla. Vanilla-scented candles were my weakness – I loved the smell, and never wanted to be without one. I didn’t cook (and still don’t, FYI) and the wonderful, warm scent would fill my apartment with its fragrance and make me want to curl up under a cozy blanket and dream lovely dreams. There was nothing quite like it.

 

On the other hand, however, there was also nothing quite like picking up a candle, reading the label, thinking to yourself, “oh this sounds excellent!”, slowly lifting the lid and…realizing that you just released an assault on your sense of smell. You replace the lid as quickly as possible, throw down the candle, and look at it like it had suddenly started talking to you and said something appalling. It’s an equally memorable and horrifying experience – one that makes you probably keep a radius from that candle for a good long time.

 

The beauty of a sweet aroma

 

 

You see, friends, the sense of smell is one of the most powerful we own. It allows us to fully appreciate the beauty of fresh flowers, and keeps us from making a mistake when our milk has gone bad. It’s a tool that allows us to surround ourselves with good things on the outside, and keep away things that would be bad for our insides.

 

In a similar way, the Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 2:15:

“For we are to God the sweet aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.”

 

We are to be a sweet smelling aroma. We are to be God’s representatives on the Earth – something they seek to be around, and desire to have close to them. Something they recognize is different from the others out there, something of which they can’t quite get enough, and keep turning to in a desire to discover more.

2 Corinthians 5:20 even goes on to tell us that we are “God’s ambassadors”. For this ambassadorship to be successful – for us to fill the world with the sweet aroma of Christ – we have to start with adjusting what’s inside so we reflect who He is on the outside. For, “so a man thinks in his heart, so he is” (Proverbs 23:7).

 

Question to consider: Are you following the pattern in Philippians 4:8? How can you “meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious–the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse”?

 

xoxo.

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Live Epic: Choosing Joy

Do you ever have days that feel like the Friends theme song?

It can actually be a quite relatable and relatively accurate picture of #adulting.

Haha, no seriously. Regardless of how you feel about #RossAndRachel, we’ve all heard at it at some point or another and thought, “Yeahhh okay I’m there right now. My ____(job is a joke / I’m broke / my love life is D.O.A)_____.”

That’s never happened to you?! Come on. Well, I’ve lived the NYC adventure—and I’m happy to let you live vicariously through my experiences. I can tell you, those days happen.

So, what do you do when your day feels like Friends’ opening credits?

I see three options:

  1. Watch Friends. (Clearly you already are, if you’re thinking of the theme song. And we all know that HIMYM is a knockoff and Seinfeld just isn’t as good 😉
  2. Buy a pint of HaloTop (I recommend the Lemon Cake) and eat the whole thing.
  3. Listen to what James says in his book:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

I’d like to point out that the three of those options are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I’ve been known to do all of them in the same evening. (You’re not judging—you’re jealous and you know it.)

But, let’s focus in on the third (and most effective) option here. Particularly, the first four words of that verse:

“Consider it pure joy.”

That sentence holds true, regardless of which word you emphasize.

Consider it pure joy.” — Joy is a choice. Happiness is a feeling. It is possible—and Biblical—to choose joy, even when the world may say it’s okay to throw a pity party. Which leads us to…

“Consider it pure joy.” — Choosing joy does NOT mean that you’re turning a blind eye to the situation, or saying that everything is 100% A-OK. It very well might not be. It’s saying that you choose to trust the situation to the Lord, and you take joy in knowing He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28).

“Consider it pure joy.” — Nuh-uh, there’s no room for “sorta” or “mostly” here. James is presenting an all-or-nothing statement. You either trust the situation to God, or you don’t. You choose to focus on Kingdom purposes and His promises, or you choose to dwell in and become overcome by the struggle.

“Consider it pure joy.” — As Nehemiah so eloquently put it, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” If you allow your situation to sap you of joy, you no longer have one of the most powerful weapons God provided. Allowing your joy to get lost in life’s struggles eliminates your ability to be a contender for the Kingdom. If “The joy of the Lord is (my) strength”, and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13), then logic tells us that with God-given Joy we can do all things. Amen to that.

Let me encourage you friends – Choose joy. Choose to be a contender for the Kingdom. You see, friends, life’s situations and worldly forces have no power in your life except for the power that you give them. Yet, we hear Christians complaining all of the time about being kept down by their woes and foe—yet, this foe has already been defeated. Both in the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 20:4) and New Testament (John 16:33), we’re told that Christ has already won the victory! So, if you feel like you’re being overcome by the #struggle, first take a look at your perspective.

Are you choosing joy? Are you remembering your “why”—why you live, why you make money, why you do whatever it is that you do? Are you acting from a place of submission to your situation, or victory over the struggle?

And remember, when it seems like choosing joy is a challenge, people are watching to see how you’ll react to your situation. You’re an ambassador of the King (2 Cor. 5:20). More on that to come… 😉

Grace & peace.

Live Epic: Finding Victory in the Valley

“When life gets tough, the tough get going.”

Or, so says the cliche. For me, though, there’s a crucial part that the phrase omits:

“When life gets tough, the tough get going to a movie theater & sneak in their own Starbucks.”

& at this point, you may be very confused. Or chuckling to yourself. Or see “Starbucks” as a synonym for “basic”.

Oh goodness, “basic” is about the last word that comes to mind when I think of my life right now. Nope, no-no. Not the case here.

Why do I slide into the cinemas myself? Well, because sometimes when your story gets tough, you want to step out of it momentarily and get lost in someone else’s.

I am wildly in love with stories. First and foremost, I feel like I was put on this Earth to be a storyteller.

In fact, I’ve actually crafted my life around it—in branding, I help companies tell their stories and become a positive part of the stories of their customers. In Pilates, I’m able to listen to people’s stories, and help them—even in some small way—to take steps closer to the story they’ve always dreamed about. In discipleship, I get the privilege of coming alongside others in realizing the story God has for them. In friendships, I’m blessed to be a part of other’s stories and do life together.

Everyone has a lens through which they view life. Some see it as more of an equation—“X+Y=Happiness”, as a pre-determined linear path, a sequence of small steps, or random shots in the dark.

I see life as a narrative—and I mean the big “LIFE” as in since the first breath was drawn, since before the beginning of human existence. It changed my entire perspective, actually, when I started reading the Bible that way—as a narrative, a story—instead of a list of “who, what, when” facts. It’s the difference between reading a thrilling novel vs. the encyclopedia. In fact, 40% of the Bible is written in narrative form—its the most common single type of writing.

All of that to say—for me, life is a story. My life is a story. Given my beliefs, my Biblical knowledge shows me that I was dropped into the midst of an epic story—and, my mantra since I was 16 was, “I fully intend to live an epic life.”

There was never an epic story about something safe and predictable. That would be the most boring story ever. There would be empathy in the struggle, no moments of joy. Nobody would pay money to go to the movies & see that.

In fact, within all great stories, the hero / heroine was always thrust into challenge or adventure instead of falling in-step with a life that was safe and predictable. They’re different and unique. The journey is often lonely, but they’re headed towards something greater. There’s a hope in their chest, and a knowledge in their heart that they were meant for more. They meet compatriots that share their purpose and laugh and walk with them on the way. At the end of the valley, there’s something that will bring fulfillment. That will validate their challenges. That will give meaning to their story.

But, so often we lose ourselves in the valley. We become so focused on the challenges that we completely lose sight of our calling. 

If you’re waiting for a mountaintop victory, you’re missing the point. God calls us to rejoice in all things. You see, so often for us, when our visions of victory don’t match our current situation, we lose heart. The victories aren’t always on the mountaintop—they come by choosing joy, and by choosing Him, every day. They’re not big leaps of faith, but small steps of obedience.

Embrace the epic story. Choose joy. And keep following Him to the victory.

Grace & peace.

I know less, as I come to know You more.

Real talk, y’all: To say that it’s been a whirlwind of a week has been an understatement.

Last Wednesday, I was sitting at the new “Fort Wayne Famous” restaurant, the Golden (BEST chocolate / toffee pudding EVER), laughing about future dreams and aspirations.

A week ago today (Fri-YAY), I was leaving my cozy Indiana apartment at 1:30a to drive to Detroit and jump on a 5:50a flight to NYC—only to be in a restaurant that evening that was also hosting ladies from the Bachelor.

A week ago tomorrow, I was laughing with some of my favorite people in the world and dancing to 90’s hits on their living room couch.

A week ago tomorrow night, I was standing in one of my favorite places in the world—right in front of the fountain at Lincoln Center, taking in the wonder of the moment.

A week ago Sunday, I had slept 13 hours in 4 days and spent six hours on a plane, trying to get back from NYC to Detroit. And then driving from Detroit to Fort Wayne.

Last Tuesday, I spent the day driving down to Atlanta (Indiana) for a client presentation.

Wednesday—I was roasting s’mores & eating pineapple tacos at one of Fort Wayne’s (other) best new restaurants.

Yesterday was—well, let’s just say a DAY.

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I tell you all of that to show you that, when I say it’s been a week, you know it’s been a WEEK. I’ve simultaneously basked in some of my life’s greatest joys, and been confronted with the weight of a few of my hardest decisions. Relished the highs, and ridden out the lows.

As I’m typing this, I’ve finally surrendered & am sitting on my couch in leggings with a glass of Oliver’s, Skinny Pop, & an unbelievably cozy blanket. Fully embracing the week’s end.

Yet, the thing I’d like to let you know is the part of it that sticks with me—along with the joys & struggles & moments—is there has been one constant in everything. In the moments right before drifting off to sleep on the plane, to the times that have found me on my couch with Bible in hand—and every minute in between, there’s been a presence.

His presence. It’s been undeniable. Even in the moments I wasn’t actively seeking it, when I wasn’t going out in search of direction. I’ve found that, even when I wasn’t consciously seeking to be at His side, He’s been at mine. Taking me in His arms, kissing me on the head, and saying, “Let it go, I’ve got this.”

There have been times this week when I’ve been too tired to put two words together—let alone form a whole prayer—and still, there’s Jesus. Beside me on my flight, with me as I slowly wake in the mornings, or with me on the couch even now. And that—that feeling of being pursued—it’s humbling.

By His side.

Judah Smith puts it this way: “God has placed you in a position of favor by His side. He’s faithful. You will feel His hand in the small of your back, prompting you, ‘Come on, we’re going to go this way now.’ It might just be the subtle, simple hints from the spirit of Jesus that are leading you every day. Don’t spend another day busying yourself with somebody else’s lane and plan and purpose. You have your own, by His side. Just enjoy.”

I know & love people who have read the books and go to the classes, who volunteer at church and never fail to do their morning devotions. I’d like to say that’s me. I try hard to be that way. But mornings aren’t my thing. I’m the kind of person who has to set 15 alarms to get up. When there was talk of an early-morning meeting at work last week, one of my coworkers laughed out loud when I said I could be there.

…I digress. What I mean to say is—those are all great things. They are all relationship-builders with God. But this week, my mornings have usually started with my eyes fluttering open and, through the mass of pillows & covers piled on my head, saying, “God, are you there?” And I sense His presence—as close as if He’s sitting on the edge of my bed, laughing, saying, “Yes, of course I’m here.”

These little moments have actually changed my relationship with Him. I think, too often, it’s easy to slip into a version of relationship that we think is appropriate for us to have with our Creator. We set the limits, we initiate the interaction, we do the talking and feel like the seeking is something that happens on our end, too.

But, I don’t think that’s what He wants. I don’t think that’s all that He wants. I think that we see Jesus’ divinity and completely miss the point of His humanity.

If our relationships on earth are meant to be reflections our relationship with Him…oh, friends, we are missing out.

Your life and your love are something you give to a person, not to a set of rules or do’s and don’ts.

And realizing the depth of this Relationship with Jesus this week…I never want to go back to anything before. I’m falling in love with the Savior, my Jesus.

I couldn’t put it any better than this (I know it’s long, but please read the whole thing):

“I used to shake You like an 8-ball

I used to shoot You like a gun

I used to hold You like a hammer

Try to nail down everyone

I used to keep You in a steeple

Used to bind You in a Book

I used to take You like prescription

Without knowing what I took

But now I just don’t buy it anymore

No, I’ve tried and I’ve tried to know everything for sure

But I find I know less as I come to know You more

You’re not who I thought You were

Praise the Lord

Your love’s an ocean, not a river

A symphony, not just a song

I don’t think everybody’s right

I just think most of us were wrong

I think that when we get to Heaven

We’re gonna laugh when we can see

How hard we try to make it

And how easy it should be

Providence is endless

Mercy is a mystery

And fear is no good reason

To believe in anything

So I just don’t buy it anymore

No, I’ve tried and I’ve tried to know everything for sure

But I find I know less as I come to know You more

You’re not who I thought You were

Praise the Lord

Praise the Lord.

Kissing God

I was drinking coffee this morning.

…just like everybody else, you’re thinking to yourself. You’re right. Drinking coffee is a morning ritual religiously observed by millions of people around the globe. Drinking coffee isn’t at all unusual.

The fact that I’m drinking coffee—now that’s strange. Oh sure, I love using the phrase “get coffee” as a synonym for “spend time”. As in, “let’s go get coffee”. But then, when the moment of truth comes, I’ll walk up to the counter and the barista will say, “What can I get for you today?” And I, without fail, will say:

“I’d like a grande non-fat vanilla chai.”

It’s a running joke for those who know me well. They get a kick out of it, and I just stand there saying, “Ha, yes, that’s hilarious. Sure. Yep. So funny.”

…I digress. But I say all of this to illustrate how unusual it is for me to be drinking coffee this morning.

Friends, I’m tired. So tired that I felt the need for this unheard-of extra morning jolt. So tired that I dream of the day when I can get to sleep while the single digits are still on the clock. Just physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted.

Something I’ve noticed about myself: when I reach this point of exhaustion, it’s easy for my spiritual life to slip into the mode of “religion” as opposed to “relationship”.

And I’ve found that, for me, it’s impossible to love a religion. Sure, I can follow a religion, but it’s more out of duty than desire. God never intended for our connection with Him to be one of knowledge-based obligation – He created it to be a relationship of deep romance and love.

Just like a lover might whisper, “I love you, I desire to be with you, I long to spend time with you” – so I felt God saying this to my heart for the last week. So on Sunday, I sat down with my bearskin blanket and warm mug of tea. I opened my book* to these words: “What do you think of when you hear the word worship?”

Friends, what do you think of when you hear that word? Church, hymns, words of praise, prayers, psalms, guitars?

These are the outward forms of worship. How worship manifests itself.

I was intrigued by what I was reading, and continued on. The author asked, “What’s at the heart of worship?”

The answer? A secret. A wonderful, intimate, romantic secret.

There’s a word found in the New Testament scriptures, and appears only in the Greek translation. The word: proskuneo.

By definition, this word means “to kiss”. Therefore, true worship is to kiss.

What’s a kiss? It’s the most intimate of acts – one that we long for, that makes us tingle inside, that makes our heart soar. Something that makes the wrong, right and transforms any moment.

To worship God is to kiss God – the most intimate thing we can experience.

And, a true kiss is never done because of duty or obligation – it’s done because of an outpouring of the heart. It’s driven by joy, it brings joy. It’s an expression of love.

Kissing God.

I took it in, letting it all wash over me. I was humbled by the idea that I had the privilege to have this connection with God – to worship Him, to “kiss” Him. Not only the privilege, but that He desired it from me – that time, that intimacy, that aligning of spirits. That He is the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of the World – and at the same time, the Lover of my soul. The one who crafted its in’s and out’s, deepest fears and longings, and that His word & work in my life is His love letter to me.

Even in my most tired, exhausted moments, I am living loved, passionately and unconditionally.

“Let Him lead me to the banquet hall, and let His banner over me be love.” ~Song of Songs 2:4

*From Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn

I wrestled with God this weekend, and here’s why.

I’m still detoxing from New York City.

 

For the two years I lived there, I tried to convince those still residing in my Midwestern hometown that the trees and grass of Central Park were all the nature I’d ever need. Cars were overrated. That all the weird smells and trash-lined streets only existed on the Lower East Side and – hey, you become immune to the honking of taxis after awhile. It’s all part of the City’s symphony, I’d say.

 

Three months after moving back to the Fort, I’m living in an apartment complex that looks like a state park. I’ve got a lake surrounded by huge sycamore trees outside my bedroom window. I’m driving a Jeep. I’m realizing that although some of what I said was true—the City is this sparkling, romantic jewel—much of it wasn’t entirely factual. I like cars—I like having a drink holder for my Starbucks on my morning commute. I LOVE looking out my back window over a quiet winter scene and taking in the fresh falling snow. I love being able to afford a full one-bedroom apartment now instead of crashing in a living room (as great as that was!).

 

But, there are still some nights I’ll never forget. Example:

 

It was the first summer I spent interning in New York. My mom and a few of our close girlfriends had come to the City for a weekend full of Broadway shows, Soho shops, & Brooklyn brunches. As much as we all wished that weekend would last forever, Sunday evening finally came & I went back upstairs to my apartment to shower while they ran out to grab crepes. The problem: I forgot to give them keys to get back into my building. I ran back downstairs to let them in, & we decided to sit on the steps and eat for a minute. As we talked and laughed, we saw a man wearing clear sunglasses and a black / gold velvet blazer walk out of the restaurant across the street. It was BONO.

 

As I tried to secretively snap a few photos, two more people came out surrounded by bouncers. The woman looked down at her pale yellow dress, as the man high-fived Bono and followed her to the car. As they got closer, we recognized them—Jay-Z and Beyonce.

 

It was my first celebrity experience in NYC. I told my mom the next day how absolutely incredible it was—Bono having dinner with J & Queen B?! WHAT. She chuckled a bit and said, “Kenz, I was praying for a fun & memorable thing to happen on our last night here. I felt like you could use it.”

 

…and God answered my mom’s prayer with Bono, Jay-Z, and Beyonce.

 

This is a true yet superficial example, but the point is: my mom prays prayers that God answers.

 

Two weeks ago, life was quite stressful, and I was facing pressure on a couple of fronts. My heart was like a soldier, weary from the fight and feeling quite beaten down and broken. I’d prayed all day for peace and calm, but my insides continued to feel unsettled. My mom came over in the evening, wrapped me up in her arms, and prayed for me—over me, over the external circumstances, and over my heart. She prayed with quiet, confident tone—and this overwhelming peace immediately settled over the room. God answered her prayer swiftly, immediately, and completely.

 

She and I were Christmas shopping last night and, as we searched for the perfect gifts for family and friends, I caught her up on the things I was currently praying for and about in my life. Standing in Target’s Christmas section, sifting through sparkling lights and reindeer ornaments, I jokingly asked her, “Mom, why does God answer your prayers? Even for the smallest, seemingly frivolous things? I could pray for the same things, but when you pray, He truly answers swiftly.”

 

She answered me with unexpected seriousness: “When you pray, do you believe Him to work?”

 

“Well, yes…” I said cautiously.

 

“Really? Truly? Or deep down, do you doubt that you can trust Him?”

 

She and I both knew the real answer.

 

You see, there are things I’ve been praying for over the span of years. The kind of desires that feel intertwined with your heart, which you only dare to pray for in those most personal moments as you nestle under the covers or as the day is breaking. Things that I’ve petitioned God for while lying face down on my living room floor, through strong words, and through tears. Things I’ve wrestled with God over. But when weeks, months, and years go by and those prayers aren’t answered—what then?

 

My “what then” became continuing to pray, while trying to craft contingency plans on my own. I allowed my misunderstanding of His intentions and disagreement with His timing to breed distrust. I held a sentiment where my prayers said, “God, I believe you to work this out” but I followed that up with actions that said, “I don’t think this is on Your radar, or I don’t trust that you’ll make it happen. So I’ll just take care of it because I know what I need.”

 

In retrospect, that perspective has only brought heartache. Robbed me of joy. Dampened my hope. I would continue to offer things in my life up to Him as a sacrifice, only to find days—even moments—later that my sacrifice had crawled off of the altar.

 

My heart has longed to hope, to trust, and to allow Him to bring about His best. But, doing that requires me to relinquish my grasp on my life—on these things I hold close to my heart. And that requires a complete vulnerability with God, an openness, a giving over of my entire being to Him.

 

To be entirely honest, I’ve wrestled with Him over this all weekend. Clearly, this is difficult. I’d actually hoped I’d dealt with these trust issues long ago.

 

I want to trust Him, but my heart still continues to ask if that’s safe. If He will protect my hope. If His plans are truly those that are best for me. If I can trust His heart.

 

His answer keeps coming to me in a gentle whisper: “Yes. I want you to live free.”

 

Because, actually, trusting Him with my life isn’t dangerous or risky. It’s the safest bet I can make. He wants to take the wheel – He’s dealt with my stresses, worries, and failures. He only looks ahead, and He wants to bring things into my life beyond my wildest dreams – things I would never have the power to make happen on my own. And that frees me to enjoy the ride.

 

It’s a giving of my entire being to Him, because only He is capable of bringing the things that will fulfill my deepest longings and allow me to live the life He has planned for me—the life I’ve always imagined. Living life with a Kingdom perspective, praying with confidence, trusting His will – and living free.

 

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied. “if you have faith and do not doubt…even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer.” ~ Matthew 21:21-22

 

“Your Heavenly Father knows that you need these things. Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” ~ Matthew 6:32-34

 

 

 

 

What my heartbeat means.

What a weekend. It feels like, overall, these last couple days flew by in a heartbeat – yet, there were a few moments where it felt like time stopped. Those moments when you feel like you’re almost able to step back out of the present and appreciate all that’s past, while realizing that there’s so many possibilities to come.

I’m starting to see and more fully appreciate how God is working in my life, how absolutely everything over the past few years – actually, my lifetime – have led up to this moment.  If you’ve ever played sports or an instrument – preparing for a big game or show – you understand the feeling: that sentiment as you step out onto the field, the crowd roars, and you realize that all of your preparation will pay off in that single moment.

 

Except, today, it’s a little different. I don’t mean “this moment” figuratively or in a monumental sense, per se. I mean right here, right now – sitting here in bed, holding steaming tea with one hand and typing this with the other. I’m realizing how every nuance of my life has been orchestrated. Tomorrow, I’ll take a breath and my heart will beat. The interaction of these two steps will cause a reaction in my muscles, which will in turn enable me to propel myself out of bed, extend my fingers to grab my steaming mug of coffee, receive the jolt of caffeine needed to start my day…and the cycle continues. But you know the humbling thing: I don’t have control over whether or not my heart will take its next beat, or my body will breathe its next breath.

 

I don’t say that to be morbid, but to make the point that there is One who loves me so desperately that He’s already measured my life in the number of heartbeats I’ll have or breaths I’ll take. He makes my heart beat for me, He reminds my body to breathe in the fresh air. This means He’s already with me, working within and around me, moment to moment. He’s already accounted for all the decisions I’ll make of my own accord, and of the times I’ll let Him lead. In merely existing, my heart is innately intertwined in a divine, sacred romance with the Creator of the Universe.

 

It’s beautiful. As I consider decisions, as I sit here now contemplating how what I’ll do today will affect what options I’ll have tomorrow – I know that He actually wants to free me from that worry. If He has orchestrated my very existence and keeps me alive from second to second, He can surely be trusted to lead me towards the most Epic life he has waiting.

 

 

“I lift my hands to Heaven, hear my heart surrender.

I tell my soul again, You are Lord of all.

Though the seas are raging, You will speak and tame them.

In You I find my rest, You are in control.”

~ In Control, Hillsong Worship